The following may read somewhat like a T-Pain song.
My friends Kevin and Alex have recently taken up a new interest. Probably starting with the "get money" movement and climaxing with Usher's "Make Love in This Club", my friends have decided that clubbing is the new thing. This is a tough thing for me, for a number of reasons. I'm the only one in a committed relationship, for one. So, what would I do? Dancing with another girl is cheating, as far as I'm concerned. Yet my friends continued to nag me to go with them. They said I could be "Mikedawg, the tease." Yeah right.
Anyway, last night I stayed at Kevin's and my friends decided that we'd hit The Roxxy in Philly. Too late to go home, I went along for the ride, and had to pay nothing. Basically you get what you pay for. Nevertheless, we all suited up, doused in Armani, and took the Ford pickup to the sleazy streets of Philadelphia. The club was nuts. There were way too many people there, walking around was a chore. Mostly I went for Kevin. Fresh off a breakup, I guess he needed some action. So I walked around with Kevin and Alex for a while.
Some Observations. Most of the guys at clubs who get girls are 5'4 guidos who kind of look like my friend Juicy. Most of the girls in club wear the same thing: Black belly shirt, clearly no bra, jean shorts that show everything, clearly no underwear. I dont understand the hype. Anyway we walked around a while, Kevin and Alex scoping out girls. Somewhere along the way we lost Alex. Kevin and I went upstairs where it was really "bumpin". He spotted a few girls he liked so we moved in. Standing there for a few moments, Kevin asked a tall girl with a nose size comparable to his own to dance. She was clearly Jewish and from New Jersey. They start dancing. She had a short Asian friend with her that would have been perfect for Alex. She looked at me as if I was going to ask her to dance, but I just walked politely away. I'm a faithful man, dammit. I finally met up with Alex downstairs and we sat down in the smoking section for a little while, until it was closed. Then we stood by the wall on the bottom floor. Kevin emerges for upstairs with the same girl under his shoulder. He introduces me to her. They proceed to go to the corner and canoodle. End of story.
Basically the club taught me a few things. Sometimes I wonder if being in a committed relationship at this stage of my life is the right choice for me. After last night I know it is. I didn't dance with anyone, nor did I want to. I thought of my girlfriend, who is in Eastern Europe, the whole time. I didn't look at any girls, didn't find any attractive. Basically the perfect girl for me is a short, clumsy redhead with an excellent work ethic and a slight Napolean complex. She knows how to make me happy, and I miss her a lot.
So maybe that wasn't exactly a T-Pain song. But anyway, here's a try:
Kevdawg broke up with his girl last week so we all went to the club (so we went to the club)
Put on a fresh white suit and a big Ford truck sitting on dubs (sitting on dubs)
He was just looking for somebody to talk to and show him some love (show him some love)
If you know what I mean... Yeah... Uh-Huh...
Everybody's jockin' us as soon as we stepped in the spot (we stepped in the spot)
200 bitches and i bet ain't none of them hot (ain't none of them hot)
Trill...
Saturday, March 29, 2008
Tuesday, February 5, 2008
Pooper Tuesday
I haven't registered to vote yet. I swear to God if I see another Hillary Clinton commercial, I'm going to walk/run/drive/ski to the post office/DMV/internet to register. Honestly, she says "I'm Hillary Clinton and I support this message because the odds have never been greater." If you support the message it's so your damn face can be broadcast into my unhappy eyes by reverberating strings and electronic signals. How happy I'd be without technology!
If I had registered, I would have no doubt voted for Obama today. He's the only candidate I like, so how he does in the primaries will probably determine how long my registration goes unregistered. I'm very much against this idea of Super Tuesday. It's like voting at Wal-Mart. No thanks.
Today I had a revelation. More precisely it was a temporarily unstable nerve synapse somewhere mid spinal cord (my guess) that made me think about the grand scheme of things. I was sitting in Calculus, thinking about how I aced my quiz when I realized that I'm a failure. I haven't played/written music in over a year, I haven't co-mingled with articulate friends for a while, and I haven't slept a full night in a long time. My grades have never been better. But, and this is what my unstable nerve synapse told me, numbers are deceiving. I'm sure I'll get that Calc quiz back and I'll get a 96-100, my report card will hang on the fridge, gloating a 4.11, but at what cost? Does it matter anymore? It's been a hard year. My major problem is that, if I'm already home, why can't I go home?
Each day I get more and more disgruntled.
If I had registered, I would have no doubt voted for Obama today. He's the only candidate I like, so how he does in the primaries will probably determine how long my registration goes unregistered. I'm very much against this idea of Super Tuesday. It's like voting at Wal-Mart. No thanks.
Today I had a revelation. More precisely it was a temporarily unstable nerve synapse somewhere mid spinal cord (my guess) that made me think about the grand scheme of things. I was sitting in Calculus, thinking about how I aced my quiz when I realized that I'm a failure. I haven't played/written music in over a year, I haven't co-mingled with articulate friends for a while, and I haven't slept a full night in a long time. My grades have never been better. But, and this is what my unstable nerve synapse told me, numbers are deceiving. I'm sure I'll get that Calc quiz back and I'll get a 96-100, my report card will hang on the fridge, gloating a 4.11, but at what cost? Does it matter anymore? It's been a hard year. My major problem is that, if I'm already home, why can't I go home?
Each day I get more and more disgruntled.
Monday, January 28, 2008
Random Musings
"I get more ass than a toilet seat."
Whatever happened to Nate Dogg? He had an interesting gimmick. He was like if you crossed Snoop's vulgar charm (see "Sexual Eruption") with 50 Cent's raunchy annunciations. Too bad. I bet he has a lot of money.
I read a Rolling Stone article today. I know what you (if you have a soul) are thinking, but the saving grace is that the article was about Radiohead. It really told me nothing I didn't already know. Everyone keeps it real, except, maybe Ed O'Brien. But he's cool in his own way.
I would like some snow, and then maybe some spring weather. But not the warm-up you get in the winter, I want authentic spring weather. I want apathy.
Whatever happened to Nate Dogg? He had an interesting gimmick. He was like if you crossed Snoop's vulgar charm (see "Sexual Eruption") with 50 Cent's raunchy annunciations. Too bad. I bet he has a lot of money.
I read a Rolling Stone article today. I know what you (if you have a soul) are thinking, but the saving grace is that the article was about Radiohead. It really told me nothing I didn't already know. Everyone keeps it real, except, maybe Ed O'Brien. But he's cool in his own way.
I would like some snow, and then maybe some spring weather. But not the warm-up you get in the winter, I want authentic spring weather. I want apathy.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
A Little Che for the Masses
When I was a young boy, my mother would give me a ten dollar bill and tell me that in my hand was my lunch money for the week. I would typically get two days' lunch plus a snack on another day when I was especially hungry. Keep in mind: in middle school, i was a meatball.
Nowadays the system is a little different. My parents put money on my lunch debit and it dwindles and dwindles until someone tells me I need more money and writes what I owe on a napkin, politely calling me "honey". Nowadays, one lunch costs close to ten dollars. Keep in mind: I'm no longer a meatball.
People hate sporting event pricing, but there's no alternative, so they deal with it. This is really the general rule of capitalism. Supply and Demand. The Jewish people were looked at negatively for charging interest, and still have stereotypes holding them down. Yet every American entrepreneur relies on jipping the consumer to make a quick, and rather large, profit. So is it any surprise that my average lunch was costing close to ten dollars? Until yesterday, that is.
Using nothing but text messaging and word of mouth around 1165/1200 students successfully boycotted the cafeteria food. Just one day after, talks took place to lower the prices. I honestly have never been prouder of my classmates. I was fired up. The moral of the story is that one needs to take a look around. Look at the things you buy, the places you shop. Just yesterday I was in Happy Harry's and I saw a Walgreens substitution for Old Spice body wash. Capitalism is, by and large, despicable. But do we have any other option?
Oh yeah, listen to "Maybe You Can Owe Me" by Architecture in Helsinki. Where has this song been all my life?
Nowadays the system is a little different. My parents put money on my lunch debit and it dwindles and dwindles until someone tells me I need more money and writes what I owe on a napkin, politely calling me "honey". Nowadays, one lunch costs close to ten dollars. Keep in mind: I'm no longer a meatball.
People hate sporting event pricing, but there's no alternative, so they deal with it. This is really the general rule of capitalism. Supply and Demand. The Jewish people were looked at negatively for charging interest, and still have stereotypes holding them down. Yet every American entrepreneur relies on jipping the consumer to make a quick, and rather large, profit. So is it any surprise that my average lunch was costing close to ten dollars? Until yesterday, that is.
Using nothing but text messaging and word of mouth around 1165/1200 students successfully boycotted the cafeteria food. Just one day after, talks took place to lower the prices. I honestly have never been prouder of my classmates. I was fired up. The moral of the story is that one needs to take a look around. Look at the things you buy, the places you shop. Just yesterday I was in Happy Harry's and I saw a Walgreens substitution for Old Spice body wash. Capitalism is, by and large, despicable. But do we have any other option?
Oh yeah, listen to "Maybe You Can Owe Me" by Architecture in Helsinki. Where has this song been all my life?
Sunday, January 13, 2008
HC / DC
Early last week, Hillary Clinton showed that her hormones are not suitable for the presidency. As such, her desperation cry provided incentive to all 45+ year old women to go out and vote because they know how menopause goes; thus winning her New Hampshire. It's not really a big deal, because once Edwards puts his tail between his legs and admits he's done, all of his prior votes will go to my favorite: Barry Obama.
This weekend I studied Rivers Cuomo. I purchased Alone: The Home Recordings and read his Harvard essay, "A Mad and Furious Master." Both works essentially made my weekend, providing it with a little different motif rather than listening to joke rap songs, like I normally do. Because of how much those two works rocked, I started thinking about why Weezer sucks so much ever since they got back together. Other than maybe 3 good tracks on their album Maladroit, their work has been, well, maladroit. I made a short list as to why:
1. Rivers Cuomo is no longer celibate.
2. Someone in Weezer loves writing songs about marijuana. ("Hashpipe", "Dopenose", "We Are All On Drugs")
3. Rivers Cuomo probably doesn't care anymore.
4. Aside from Cuomo, all other members can only think about Playboy.
5. Their music videos suck.
6. "Island in the Sun"
7. Rivers Cuomo would feel bad/alone if he left Weezer and started a better solo career.
You honestly don't think Rivers Cuomo wants to be in Beverly Hills, do you?
Oh yeah, did I mention I hate Hillary Clinton?
This weekend I studied Rivers Cuomo. I purchased Alone: The Home Recordings and read his Harvard essay, "A Mad and Furious Master." Both works essentially made my weekend, providing it with a little different motif rather than listening to joke rap songs, like I normally do. Because of how much those two works rocked, I started thinking about why Weezer sucks so much ever since they got back together. Other than maybe 3 good tracks on their album Maladroit, their work has been, well, maladroit. I made a short list as to why:
1. Rivers Cuomo is no longer celibate.
2. Someone in Weezer loves writing songs about marijuana. ("Hashpipe", "Dopenose", "We Are All On Drugs")
3. Rivers Cuomo probably doesn't care anymore.
4. Aside from Cuomo, all other members can only think about Playboy.
5. Their music videos suck.
6. "Island in the Sun"
7. Rivers Cuomo would feel bad/alone if he left Weezer and started a better solo career.
You honestly don't think Rivers Cuomo wants to be in Beverly Hills, do you?
Oh yeah, did I mention I hate Hillary Clinton?
Saturday, January 5, 2008
Godspeed / Snailpace
As I walked away, I couldn't help but feel so damn pretentious. Walking to my car, I felt a huge hole in what is conventional to call my heart. It probably had something to do with the fact that school is coming, but I think it was more than that. It was like, I may be trying to run away from my true happiness. The elegance is unprecedented.
11:15. I am exhausted. This is my usual time for departing Coleen's house. For the first time in about 6 months, I want to turn back. I want to stay there. I want to freeze. It doesn't help that she follows me to my car, with her socks plopping on the soggy ground. I look into her face. This is my happiness. Why do I continue trying to run?
Coleen is a freshmen at the University of Delaware. I am a senior in high school (pimpin, I know.) Anyway, there is a big confusion about my future for college. I'm torn between UD and Villanova, an hour away. Two schools that have what I want academically. Yet I feel like I'm still running. Why would I give up precious time with the girl I love in my home town for a yuppie school with a Catholic opposite-sex curfew time of 1:00 a.m.? If both schools have excellent chemical engineering programs, why do I continue to be so torn? It seems a no brainer. Yet it seems I'm procuring my own misery.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone should follow their hearts. Life is what you make of it. Money, distance, and a dry paper smell are fleeting, but love will last forever. Remember that.
This could mean everything, yet it probably has meant nothing.
11:15. I am exhausted. This is my usual time for departing Coleen's house. For the first time in about 6 months, I want to turn back. I want to stay there. I want to freeze. It doesn't help that she follows me to my car, with her socks plopping on the soggy ground. I look into her face. This is my happiness. Why do I continue trying to run?
Coleen is a freshmen at the University of Delaware. I am a senior in high school (pimpin, I know.) Anyway, there is a big confusion about my future for college. I'm torn between UD and Villanova, an hour away. Two schools that have what I want academically. Yet I feel like I'm still running. Why would I give up precious time with the girl I love in my home town for a yuppie school with a Catholic opposite-sex curfew time of 1:00 a.m.? If both schools have excellent chemical engineering programs, why do I continue to be so torn? It seems a no brainer. Yet it seems I'm procuring my own misery.
I guess what I'm trying to say is that everyone should follow their hearts. Life is what you make of it. Money, distance, and a dry paper smell are fleeting, but love will last forever. Remember that.
This could mean everything, yet it probably has meant nothing.
Friday, December 28, 2007
2007: The Longest Year Ever
Drive. Fever. Drive. Listen. Stop. Repeat.
This is/was 2007. In my eternal 18 year stint on this earth no year (and I cant stress this enough) has ever lasted so long. My friend's wreck was New Years Day. Shit.
I said I'd compile 20 albums from 2007 that I liked, but I could only find 10 that really made any mark on me whatsoever. In a year that brought cliche Kanye (albeit still good Kanye), sell outs from Wilco and Against Me!, and my experience at a Police concert, 2007's music left me generally disillusioned. However, there were some excellent albums. I mean, what do I know? I really only listen to Kid A.
I like descending lists, so deal.
10. Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew- Spirit If...
9. Of Montreal- Hissing Fauna.../Are You the Destroyer?
8. Feist- The Reminder
7. The National- Boxer
6. Animal Collective- Strawberry Jam
5. M.I.A.- Kala
4. Spoon- Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
3. Radiohead- In Rainbows
2. Panda Bear- Person Pitch
1. LCD Soundsystem- Sound of Silver
This is/was 2007. In my eternal 18 year stint on this earth no year (and I cant stress this enough) has ever lasted so long. My friend's wreck was New Years Day. Shit.
I said I'd compile 20 albums from 2007 that I liked, but I could only find 10 that really made any mark on me whatsoever. In a year that brought cliche Kanye (albeit still good Kanye), sell outs from Wilco and Against Me!, and my experience at a Police concert, 2007's music left me generally disillusioned. However, there were some excellent albums. I mean, what do I know? I really only listen to Kid A.
I like descending lists, so deal.
10. Broken Social Scene Presents Kevin Drew- Spirit If...
9. Of Montreal- Hissing Fauna.../Are You the Destroyer?
8. Feist- The Reminder
7. The National- Boxer
6. Animal Collective- Strawberry Jam
5. M.I.A.- Kala
4. Spoon- Ga Ga Ga Ga Ga
3. Radiohead- In Rainbows
2. Panda Bear- Person Pitch
1. LCD Soundsystem- Sound of Silver
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